February 2010
1 post
Early morning incoherency
Morning Me: Oh no! It's snowing, and so cold!
C: I know. I thought we were past this. It was so nice last night.
Morning Me: *spots snowmen* Aw man, those poor snowmen! Left out over night--I bet they're freezing!
C: Um, well, I imagine they're okay. They are snowmen.
Morning Me: Oh. Right.
December 2009
2 posts
1 tag
formspring.me
Yet another internet distraction. Isn’t this great?
by ImAwake2
Indeed! What a way to spend winter break!
What is your favourite book?
“The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde.
Though my favorite book of poetry is “The Captain Lands in Paradise” by Sarah Manguso.
...
1 tag
formspring.me
If you could wake up as anyone tomorrow, who would it be?
Me. I don’t want to be anyone else. I might like to spend the day with someone and converse about all sorts of things, but I would never want to wake up as anything other than some form of my very own self.
Ask me anything
August 2009
5 posts
Over-educated youth FAIL
When I was a little girl I thought Neapolitan Ice Cream was Napoleon Ice Cream. For years I tried to figure out the chain of associative logic that would link Napoleon to ice cream. Years. And for years I never realized I was simply misreading the text. Over-educated youth FAIL.
Neapolitan Ice Cream
Napoleon Bonaparte
Note the difference between the two.
Star Trek Bloopers →
July 2009
9 posts
A conversation at 3 a.m.
Me: You feel emotions deeply, that is perfectly alright.
Ems: Sometimes I wish I were shallow as hell, though.
Me: What would that get you? Herpes?
Ems: A lot less pain, a lot more itching.
Me: Nope, I tried. I just can't see you as a shallow person.
Ems: Damn. Do you think I can have a personalitectomy?
Me: Is that covered by your insurance? Also: NO.
Ems:
Pickle struggles
afoolishwit:
Me: (struggles to open a jar of pickles) My brother: Need help? Me: No, I got this. (five minutes later) I guess it would help if I took the plastic seal off the top, huh? My brother: Ladies and gentlemen, a college graduate. Me: LIBERAL ARTS
This reminded me of something. As a special addition to my post “My Mother’s Special Brand Of Wisdom” I will share with...
My Mother's Special Brand of Wisdom
Mom on safe sex:
*a cute child comes on tv*
Mom: Children are false advertising.
—-
Mom on quelling fears:
Me: *runs upstairs from my basement bedroom after I hear strange noises and the lights turn on and off of their own accord* Mom!
Mom: Don’t worry. If anything were down there it would have gotten you already.
Me: *whimper*
My perceptions may be a bit skewed.
A brief conversation with my friend in response to Gilmore Girls.
Me: Man, I wish I had done something so cute after my first kiss.
Kourtney: What? Say 'thank you'?
Me: No, steal cornstarch.
15 movies
afoolishwit:
raptordactyl:
afoolishwit:
((Don’t let me forget to write about the wedding I worked at yesterday. I’m writing a post in my head but that doesn’t always mean it’ll end up on the page/Web page.))
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2. Night of the Living Dead 3. Adaptation 4. A Clockwork Orange 5. Annie Hall 6. Be Kind Rewind 7. Amelie 8. Pulp Fiction 9. 28 Days...
15 movies
afoolishwit:
((Don’t let me forget to write about the wedding I worked at yesterday. I’m writing a post in my head but that doesn’t always mean it’ll end up on the page/Web page.))
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2. Night of the Living Dead 3. Adaptation 4. A Clockwork Orange 5. Annie Hall 6. Be Kind Rewind 7. Amelie 8. Pulp Fiction 9. 28 Days Later 10. Repo! The Genetic...
This happens to me far too often.
*folds towels*
*picks up newly folded towels*
*walks to kitchen*
*pause*
*turns*
*wanders to bathroom*
*pause*
*walks to living room*
*pause*
*looks at towels*
*frowns*
*remembers*
*walks to kitchen*
*puts towels away*
Future plans, you say?
I swear, if someone asks me one more time what I plan to do with a degree in Creative Writing after I graduate I will be forced to inform them of my plan to take over a small island nation using ought but my words. There will be mandatory Pantless-Thursdays, of course. The locals will love me and write poems in praise of me which we will then workshop in order to better hone our writing skills. I...